Francesca Posted on February 26 2018
The past few days have been quite hectic here at Giardinoblu. Orders have been pouring in rapidly, requiring us to manage numerous back-and-forth emails for custom orders, bring new jewelry designs to life, create fresh content to share, and prepare shipments. Consequently, last Wednesday, I found myself completely burned out, overwhelmed, and stressed.
During these stressful moments, it becomes apparent that we are at the mercy of our feelings if we lack the tools to handle them.
Therefore, today, I would like to share with you the three effective and instantly applicable tools I use to alleviate pressure and overcome anxiety so they can be beneficial for you as well.
Tool Number One:Coming Back to You
BE PRESENT WITH YOURSELF
The overwhelming feeling experienced during a period of overworking, for example, results from the separation between the mind and body. This separation is a strategy the body employs in every emergency situation, prioritizing survival over alignment.
This heightened state of pressure should ideally be followed by a period of relaxation, allowing for the recovery of the high amount of energy lost.
However, a significant percentage of people in the modern Western world struggle to transition into this second phase and relax. Unconsciously, we tend to maintain their bodies in a constant state of tension fueled by elevated levels of hormones like cortisol. For many, feeling stressed has become so commonplace that it seems ordinary.
During such times, it may feel as if you are on an unstoppable wheel, but this is a false perception. You have the ability to stop that wheel; all you need to do is reconnect with yourself and reestablish the connection between mind and body.
I understand that breaking free from the cycle of constant "doing+doing+doing" can be challenging, but you might be surprised by the progress you can achieve by deliberately returning to yourself and opting to practice some straightforward strategies.
All it takes is a few seconds of mindful breathing.
Breathing is the ultimate tool to reconnect yourself to the present and make conscious and meaningful decisions. Just then, you can take the right actions to achieve what you want in the short and long run.
Giving your best doesn't mean burning yourself out.
When we fail to break free from the relentless cycle of stress, we become the worst version of ourselves.
I understand your desire to accomplish all your scheduled tasks. This is precisely why we must become more responsible in how we manage our tasks and time. It's crucial to handle stress and pressure effectively and recognize the boundary between "good stress" and "bad stress.
The Good Stress:
Good stress, is the type of stress that keeps us feeling alive and excited about life.
There is no threat or blocks when we experience the good stress, even if and our pulse quickens.
It's the kind of stress that push us beyond our "comfort zone" in a healthy way.
The Bad Stress:
It comes when we repeatedly face stressors that take a heavy toll and feel inescapable. A stressful job or an unhappy home life can bring chronic stress.
That is what we call chronic stress. When we deal with it for an extended period, we usually face negative health effects (both, physical and emotional).
Here's the Two Steps Technique I use every time my mind send the SOS-Stress to my Brain:
_FIRST STEP:
No matter what I'm doing or where I am, I take one breath, directing my attention to the point from which the breath originates.
I focus my attention on the spot on my chest where the breathing wave originates. Breathe in peace. Center your breath without exerting force. Repeat as many times as you need.
_SECOND STEP:
The wave of breathing comes from the point at the center of my chest and then go through my harms, fingers, legs, and feet. Breathing.
This simple strategy allows me to come back to my whole body. It brings me back to the present/real moment allowing to establish the necessary priorities to achieve my goals.
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
Tool Number Two:You'll make Everything You Want
PRIORITIZE, DON'T VICTIMIZE
How do you feel now that you're back to yourself?
However, you don't want to give up on everything you have to do, right? In fact, you shouldn't.
The first step to take as soon as you re-take control of yourself is going to the tasks you want to accomplish and ask for every one of them:
• Why do I want to do that?
• What if I scheduled it, instead of making it right now?
• Can I delegate or ask for help?
LEARN TO REPLACE "I HAVE TO" WITH "I WANT TO"
Instead of victimizing yourself, saying to yourself and others that you have not enough time and straight to do what you have to do, let's start to replace "I have to" with "I want to".
The worlds that we choose can completely shift the meaning of every situation and action.
TIME IS THE SAME FOR EVERYONE
Time is the same no matter you're a rock star, a president or a warrior of love as you are.
Time is not about money, intentions or merit. Time is always the same for everyone.
It's not how much things we have to do, instead is how much we stay focused on the goals we want to accomplish.
"Prioritize peace. If it nurtures, calms, and revitalizes you, make time for it. If it stresses, distresses, or depresses you, reconsider it."
Tool Number Three: You're Human
LEARN TO LETTING GO
We need to master the practice of "letting go" in tree fields if we want to better manage stress and anxiety and be the best of ourselves:
LEARN TO LETTING GO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK:
Feeling wrong or not enough based on what other people say is nonsense for two basic reasons:
• The myth of the "perfect woman."
I don't know if it's just an "Italian kind of thing," but it seems that a woman is expected to achieve everything in life; otherwise, she's deemed a mediocre woman.
She's supposed to have a great job, maintain her beauty and fitness, be a pleasant wife, a fantastic lover, have at least one child, excel in cooking, keep her home always nice and clean, earn a substantial salary, and the list goes on. Additionally, she is expected to find solutions to almost everything, even if it means preventing difficulties or handling unpleasant situations.
Pretty crazy, right? However, sometimes we feel that we're not enough when something like these aspects is missing in our lives. We constantly push ourselves to do more, and sometimes it's merely due to the "pressure" from others, not because we genuinely want to achieve those things.
• People judge others, regardless of their actions.
We need to decide whether we want to spend our time judging and listening to judgment or live the joy of creating something significant and positive for both ourselves and others. This is one of the reasons why mindfulness practices are so crucial these days.
LEARN TO LETTING GO EVERYTHING YOU CAN'T CONTROL:
Directing stress and anxiety towards things you can't control is not only a futile practice but also a significant drain on time and energy.
Elements beyond our control may pertain to the past, present, and future. Avoid falling into the trap of stressing over the past because there's nothing you can do to change it. Instead, focus on being present and shaping your future today.
In the present moment, you cannot control what others decide, say, or do. You can only contribute to steering the situation in the direction you desire. Following that, you are not solely responsible for the outcome. Fortunately, everyone is accountable for their actions, not for the actions of others.
Stress doesn't come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.
"Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it."
LEARN TO LETTING GO THE IDEA OF PERFECTION:
Some people tend to keep secret what they create until they believe it's perfect, and they refer to themselves as perfectionists.
The outcome is that, typically, they never share what they create and they give up almost every of their projects. Why?
Because they're never perfect! Additionally:
• They hinder their ability to enhance their work based on real issues and feedback rather than mere thoughts or hypotheses.
• They often experience frustration because perfection is a concept, not a tangible fact.
When we give greater value to a concept over an action, many of us use engaging in theories rather than allowing them to experiment.
In fact, individuals who perpetually seek perfection are often frustrated and tend to have deep-seated blocks to overcome.
If you find yourself in this situation, I invite you to take yourself a little less seriously and permit yourself to flourish by taking actions.
I say this from personal experience as I've been learning to take myself less seriously in recent years, and I'm reaping the benefits of that. It doesn't mean we don't strive to give our best; instead, it's about training ourselves to accept imperfection and embrace the never-ending journey of growth with joy and more grace.
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